Against a backdrop of snowy mountains, a sharply-dressed hotel manager struts around on a podium like a rock star in front of hordes of cheering skiers.
Pounding dance music kicks in as the flamboyant compere sloshes bubbly into a cascading champagne tower, imploring guests to make some noise while fireworks light up the Alpine sky.
It’s an end-of-week extravaganza only Club Med could conjure up. And this dazzling spectacle played out in a mountain resort like no other where unashamed entertainment – like its famed all-inclusive refreshments – comes on tap.
It had been 20 years since my carefree season working and snowboarding in the Canadian Rockies – and this was our first family ski trip. The mission was to share my boundless enthusiasm for winter sports with my daughters, admittedly driven by the selfish motive of justifying regular trips in the future.
Needless to say, the all-singing, all-dancing splendour of Club Med well and truly met the brief.
After an easy flight to Geneva and a transfer of around 1 hour and 10 minutes, we checked into the Exclusive Chalet Apartments – a collection of three, four and five bedroom units set just down from the resort’s gigantic 423-room main hotel complex.
Perched 1,600 meters up on the Saix plateau, the Club Med Grand Massif Samoëns Morillon resort provides ski-in ski-out access to the Grand Massif ski domain, the fourth-largest ski area in France
The resort is around one hour and 15 minutes from Geneva, making it as convenient fas it gets for Brits arriving by plane. Chalet guests at the resort have their breakfast delivered early in the morning to help cut down the time it takes to get little ones to the slopes
Room with a view: Chalets range from three-bedroom to five-bedroom units making them perfect for familes
The first port of call was the ‘Little Chalet’ – a cosy bar and lounge area in the hotel reserved for chalet guests, where we feasted on cake while Club Med’s team took us through a dizzying array of activities, kids club options, dinner options, in-chalet breakfast options, skiing options and spa options.
The list was endless… and we wanted to do it all.
Our chalet was spacious, beautifully decorated, and equipped with all the amenities we could wish for from a fully equipped kitchen and fireplace to heated coat and shoe cupboards and – of course – stunning mountain views from almost every window.
In one of a number of dream-like daily occurrences for our kids, a team of ‘Chalet Masters’ tiptoed in to our upstairs living room and set up breakfast early in the morning while we slept, saving valuable time in the mad morning scramble to reach the slopes. They can do the same later in the day with a fondue or raclette if you want to stay in for dinner.
From the chalet it’s a simple matter of Whatsapping your host to send a driver who then whisks you up to the hotel.
In our case, we had pre-ordered skis and boots from the in-house rental shop before arrival meaning our kit was ready to go in a locker room right by the lifts and beginners area at Samoens 1,600 ski station.
One of our biggest concerns was how our children would take to skiing for the first time. Fortunately, the brilliant ESF (École du Ski Français) instructors that work hand in hand with Club Med had us well and truly covered.
While our girls both enjoyed individual lessons, one of the main draws for families is that group ski school lessons are included in the holiday price and they prove wildly popular with many of the young beginners who flock to the resort each year.
Winter wonderland: Ski school lessons come as part of the all-inclusive offering at Club Med. Julian is pictured with his two daughters
The École du Ski Français instructors work hand-in-hand with Club Med. If your little skiers are feeling tired on the slopes, they can check in to the resort’s brilliant mini club
By the end of our stay, our seven-year-old was confidently zooming down green runs unaided while our four-year-old had gained huge confidence… and was also more than happy marauding down nursery slopes in a hotel-supplied toboggan.
If your little skiers are feeling tired on the slopes, as our youngest was by mid afternoon, they can check in to the resort’s brilliant mini club where an army of (very patient) staff lay on indoor and outdoor activities and can even take your little one for lunch or to their ski school classes.
For us adults, the all-inclusive ski pass meant we could venture further afield in the huge Grand Massif ski domain without any hassle knowing the kids were in safe hands.
On our last day, we took advantage of the childcare to have a supremely relaxing massage in the resort’s Spa Sothys – the perfect end to a few days skiing.
In short, Club Med does everything to ensure both parents and children can enjoy the slopes – and all the resort’s in-house activities – in equal measure and for however long they want.
The ever-smiling staff seem to excel in making what must be a huge logistical challenge look seamless – and this extends to the mind-boggling catering operation.
Stepping into a Club Med restaurant for a child must be like finding a golden ticket in a Wonka Bar. This is no ordinary all-inclusive buffet.
While I was distracted trying to keep a groaning mass of melting raclette cheese on my plate, the children were dashing between the pizza oven, the chocolate fountain and the ice cream stand seemingly in a food-induced state of panic over what they should feast on first.
The resort features indoor and outdoor pool and hot tub as well as a fantastic spa area, perfect for unwinding after a day on the slopes
The chalets offer a serene retreat from the main hotel and guests have access to an exclusive ‘Little Chalet’ bar and lounge area
Chalets are spacious, beautifully decorated, and equipped with all the amenities skiers could wish for from a fully equipped kitchen and fireplace to heated coat and shoe cupboards and – of course – stunning mountain views from almost every window
But it’s not all heavy mountain farewith lighter bites available from a vast salad bar and the likes of moules frites forming part of an ever-changing culinary offering.
Travel facts
Seven nights all-inclusive stay at Club Med Grand Massif Chalet Apartments from £8,361 (without flights) for a family of four based on two adults and two children.
Visit Club Med website or call 03453 676767 to book.
The quality – considering the chefs produce some 4,000 meals a day for hungry skiers – is exceptional and, to my surprise and despite us being there at absolute peak season, there were no undignified scrambles.
If you are still able to stand after that, then it’s off to the hotel’s theatre to grab a cocktail and witness perhaps the true essence of Club Med – the evening entertainment.
In just four nights we watched magicians, trapeze artists, clowns, singers and psychics not to mention the spectacular kids club variety shows.
The true ‘cerise sur le gateau’, however, was undoubtedly the resort’s larger-than-life chef du village Yoan Changeux standing atop a podium stage pouring fizz into a cascading Champagne tower to the sounds of pumping euro dance – before he unleashed a spectacular fireworks display behind him.
As Monsieur Changeux himself declares in his welcome message to guests. The only rule at Club Med? Fully enjoy every moment with family and friends. Well, it’s mission accomplished.
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