Sweat is running down my face as I pump the pedals of my exercise bike furiously, buoyed on by our fitness instructor’s booming cries.
I grit my teeth and crank up the setting, but I then make the mistake of glancing outside at a couple on deck toasting the sea views with wine while nibbling pizza. Through my breathless haze, I gaze on longingly… but then remember why I’m doing this and pedal even harder.
I’m on a mission to get fit and shed some pounds that I’ve put on of late, and which have stubbornly clung to my waistline.
Taking several cruises, in my role as a cruise writer, hasn’t helped as these holidays are notorious for their foodie temptations. There is everything from haute cuisine restaurants and sizzling steakhouses to bountiful buffets where you can pile plates high, plus burgers and pizzas at poolside diners.
In my experience, you can put on a pound a day, fuelling gags about those who arrive as passengers but depart as cargo.
I’d always congratulated myself on swerving such perils by taking advantage of the fitness facilities on most modern cruise ships.
Cruise writer Sara Macefield said was horrified to realise she had gained 7lb (3kg) while fine dining on a 20-night voyage earlier this year
Sara set about losing weight on her next cruise by taking a spin class with instructor Todd while on board Azura
Alas, an excess of fine dining on a 20-night voyage earlier this year marked my downfall and I was horrified to realise I had gained 7lb (3kg).
Drastic measures were called for, so when I board P&O Cruises’ ship Azura for an autumnal voyage around the Med, I am on a mission: ‘Operation Get Fit And Lose Weight’. With a newly refurbished fitness centre full of the latest gleaming TechnoGym machines, a daily programme of exercise classes and four pools, there is no excuse to put this off.
First stop is a body composition analysis with amiable fitness director Todd from Zimbabwe. This involves standing on a platform and gripping two handles with electrodes that pass an electrical current through my body to measure muscle mass, body water and fat.
I watch curiously as the digital display springs into life and wait expectantly as Todd prints out the results. Feeling like an errant schoolchild, I congratulate myself as he encouragingly says: ‘Good news, your results are great.’
And he adds my basic metabolic rate and visceral fat levels (fat around the organs) are fine.
However, I’m chastened when Todd points out that my water retention is a little on the high side, as is my body fat – 32 per cent when it should be 18 per cent. Ouch!
With this in mind, he draws up a gym fitness programme, and one for home workouts too, along with a seven-day diet I’m relieved isn’t too draconian.
I notice that along with salads, nuts and fish, plus drinking lots of water, it even includes rump steak – and on one day I am allowed to eat whatever I want for two meals. Pizza, anyone?
‘This is a three-fold approach of exercise, nutrition and detoxifying,’ Todd explains. ‘To get results, you need to be committed and dedicated.’
With his words ringing in my ears, I embark on my fitness journey and the gym becomes a regular haunt, though it doesn’t dominate my days as classes are only 30 minutes, with morning and evening sessions. I throw myself into a calorie-smashing routine of spin classes, body conditioning and abs workouts, picking one each day and following it with weight training and a stretch class.
Aside from this regime, I take the ship’s stairs whenever possible. ‘Lifts are for wimps,’ I chant to myself as I spring up the flights like a gazelle, only to run out of puff part-way up.
With 16 stairs between floors, tackling six or more decks sometimes leaves me clutching the bannister as I haul myself up, gasping like a goldfish.
Thankfully I fare better on a three-mile hike along Corsica’s jagged coastline near Ajaccio, one of the Azura’s most active excursions, but I find that on most shore days simply going sightseeing means I cover six or seven miles.
Days at sea spur me into pounding the promenade deck – where three circuits equal a mile – on exhilarating power walks, occasionally breaking into a jog, spurred on by the sound of rushing waves and occasional thrill of spotting dolphins.
My protesting muscles soon signal it’s time for some TLC, so I head to the spa for a seaweed wrap that Todd recommended to draw out toxins.
As the therapist paints on the algae-based mineral mask, I gently drift into a peaceful sleep.
After a week, I do begin to notice subtle differences. Stairs are easier and, for the first time in years, I can feel my stomach muscles.
Even my love handles appear to be shrinking.
Wishful thinking? Possibly. But when I get home and weigh myself, I’m ecstatic that I’ve managed to shed a few pounds.
Now that really is icing on the cake – which, of course, I won’t be consuming. Not just yet, anyway.
Travel facts
A 15-NIGHT Malta to Tenerife sailing calling at Marseille, Corsica and Tangier departs on October 1, 2026, and costs from £1,499pp including flights and gratuities. An InBody Composition Analysis costs £79 and an unlimited fitness class pass cost £65 for 14 days. A 75-minute Aroma Spa Seaweed Massage costs £169 (pocruises.com).
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