I’m trying desperately to learn the simple steps to the jive – and failing each time.
My teacher is none other than Shirley Ballas, the head judge of Strictly Come Dancing. She is being very patient with me.
And we’re not in a dance studio: we’re at sea, on board MSC Cruises’ spectacular Virtuosa, as it sails the choppy waters towards Edinburgh. It’s the first stop on our seven-night voyage to Norway.
Along with hundreds of other passengers, I have signed up to learn from the queen of dance herself in the ship’s packed ‘sports hall’.
Shirley attempts to take us through exactly what a contestant on Strictly Come Dancing would face on the first day of learning a new routine, anxiously counting down the days until they are expected to perform it live on national television to millions of people.
She’s known for holding professionals and their celebrity partners to a high standard when it comes to their footwork on the BBC show – and she watches us with the same eagle eye.
Noticing I have two left feet, she asks my name before bringing me to the front so I can follow her footwork more closely.
‘It’s all about the footwork,’ she says as I try to closely follow her feet. She begins by breaking down each step and using numbers to count.
Later on, Shirley assumes her role as head judge of MSC’s highly competitive dance competition, which takes place in the Galleria Virtuosa, the ship’s main foyer, under an 80-metre LED ‘sky’.
Senior showbusiness reporter Alex Doyle hopped on board MSC Cruises’ spectacular Virtuosa
During a seven-night voyage to Norway, Alex enjoyed dance lessons from Shirley Ballas, pictured centre
The 1000-foot vessel was also home to a casino, Formula One simulators, a kids’ club, plus indoor pools and hot tubs
The five couples, some I recognise from our dance class, have hundreds of eyes on them, including Shirley’s.
But if they expected an easy ride, they were very much mistaken as Ms Ballas draws audible gasps as she calls out their timing issues and not syncing to the music.
Passengers watch on in amusement, like an episode of Strictly is taking place right in front of us.
Thankfully, neither the competing couples nor I had to pay extra for Shirley’s brutal honesty. All of the entertainment on board is included for guests.
The dancing theme continues throughout the voyage as we end each evening with a party at sea – each night a different theme.
There are also West End productions, including Mamma Mia and Dirty Dancing in Concert, at the ship’s Le Grand Theatre, which are performed throughout my week at sea.
Elsewhere on the 1,000-foot ship are daring stunt shows in the Carousel Lounge, a casino, Formula One simulators, a kids’ club, plus indoor pools and hot tubs.
There are also 20 bars and lounges dotted around the ship.
In between the dancing, Alex ventured off the ship and went kayaking in Kristiansund
With Shirley on board for the entire week, there are some nights she makes it down to the bar to greet fans.
Guests can also order futuristic cocktails from Rob, one of the world’s first humanoid robotic bartenders.
Off the ship, I spend three hours kayaking in Kristiansund’s ‘rougher than usual’ waters. Views of Odderoya (a former naval base now a recreational area), dramatic sea cliffs and the island’s lighthouse more than make up for any seasickness.
The journey back to Southampton offers a full day at sea, giving me the chance to check out the onboard spa, where I receive a deep tissue Balinese massage – much appreciated after the previous days’ rowing.
Shirley’s star appearance is the first in a starry lineup planned for the MSC ship.
Rugby legends Ben Cohen, Neil Back and Ben Kay, plus dance star Kristina Rhianoff, board in August, with former footballer Gianfranco Zola following in October.
They’re sure to be incredible cruises. But Kristina aside, how their footwork is when it comes to the jive?
• 12-night ‘Rugby Legends’ cruise sails from Southampton to the Canary Islands, departing 8 August; from £1,279pp (msccruises.co.uk).
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